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Waste Mismanagement
(Ring) Hello? Hello, this is Gilligan with Waste Management. Waste Management? Yes, ma’am. The next time we come out for collection, we need you to have a list of everything that’s in your recycling bin, okay? We’re not your customer. We’re an umbrella organization, ma’am. They all report to us. So, Best, Best, whatever it is, Best, BestWay or whatever it is, they work under you? Yes ma’am. So the next time we come out to collect, just have an inventory. No, I’m not gonna answer nothing to you, unless they call me. (Hang up sound) - (Ring) Hello? Yeah, this is Roscoe with Waste Management calling. For our next pick up, we need you to label all the content of your recycling bin. That just sounds, that just sounds lovely. Just get some graph paper and mark down your peanut butter, cupcakes, coffee grounds, things of that nature. Okay? Oh, okay, well would you take some graph paper and measure your penis with it? For me? Ahh, I’m not sure how to contact you directly, ma’am. The gentleman of the house is who I was supposed to speak to. Well I thought, Well hell, I’ll answer the phone now, and maybe lay some Southern charm on you, and see if maybe we could take that graph paper you told me to go buy… Yeah. …and lay your penis on it and measure it for me. And I’ll measure my coffee grounds. Yeah. (Echo). (Hang up sound) - (Ring) Hello? This is Gilligan with Waste Management. We’re not with Waste Management. We’re the umbrella organization, they all report to us. We need you to have an inventory of all your recyclables, just go ahead and attach it to your bin the next time we come out for collection, okay? It’s a new policy. What bins? Are you guys gonna supply bins, or what? No, the existing bins you’ve already got. Well, I don’t understand what you want, you know. You want us to do work that we’re paying them to do? You have to make a list of everything that you put in the bin. Well it sounds like you’re kidding me. Okay, if you don’t want to participate, you’ll have an interruption of service for four weeks. Are you guys gonna reimburse me that four weeks of pay, that I pay up front? No sir. Well, you should. No sir. We’re trying to get ready, we’re going through a metamorphosis here. So, I need you to get with the program, a little bit, alright? No, you need to get with the program, and send everybody a letter, letting them know ahead of time what’s going on. We sent you a postcard, but you didn’t reply. I didn’t see no postcard. Yeah, I hear that all day long. Why don’t you get some graph paper, and make a list of all your… Why don’t you mail me some graph paper, and I’ll make a list. Yeah, that’s your responsibility, not ours. Well, why is it my responsibility, if I’m paying your trash company to pick up my trash, and now you want me to get graph paper, and this and that, doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s a new policy, sir. Why don’t you just… Well, I never heard of no new policy. You’re hearing about it right now, aren’t you? Why don’t you turn up your phone, if you don’t hear me. I don’t believe a word you’re sayin’. And quit calling this number. You’re not gonna get any service, for a month. Don’t be threatening us, that we’re not gonna get any service. What’s your name, and let me have your direct line, and your bosses’ number. It a promise, not a threat. My name’s Gilligan, sir, with Waste Management. Yeah, Gilligan what? What’s your last name? Tootsie. Okay? And I’ve been here for 16 months, on the job. That’s not a whole lotta time to be on the job. So, I know exactly what I’m… Okay, I’m gonna go ahead and look you up on the web, and see what’s going on here. I’m gonna look you over, and see if we want to even have you as a customer. Don’t be calling your customers, we’re the ones that keep your business open over here, and now you’re trying to threaten us? Ah, you’re not gonna have any business with us, if you keep this up. Keep what up? Sir, you gotta comply with us, do you understand? Let me call my trash company and see what’s going on. (Hang up sound) ** INCOMPLETE TRANSCRIPTION – 3:30 – 7:44 (end of track) has not yet been transcribed.